Joy and Quiet, as wonderful as they both are, cannot be maintained for long. We need to alternate rhythmically between the two states. Both joy and quiet (or peace) are highly valued spiritually as well as biologically. Joy and quiet represent the most desired characteristics for the soul, society or even eternity. Training our brain and relationships to alternate between joy and quiet is the basis for developing a strong control center and good bonds with others. The essence of this training is leaning to synchronize our rhythms with our bodies, spirits and others.
Joy from others when we are trying to rest is as annoying as a silent response from others to our joy. Synchronization means sharing each other’s joy but taking time to rest whenever the need arises. Synchronization also means sharing unpleasant states with others being sad when they are sad in order to help them quiet and be comforted. Part of synchronization is recognizing when others are tired, joyful, or having each one of the six unpleasant emotions that require a return to joy.
The most important synchronization with others involves the synchronization between their attachment circuits and ours. This means that we learn to attend to others and move toward them with joy when we want to be close and disengage when we need to rest. Spiritually this means that we respond when God calls to us. Naturally synchronization brings us together with the people we love.
Internally, the most important synchronization keeps us running together at all levels of our existence. The brain’s main synchronization circuits are at level three in the control center. This structure is called the cingulate cortex. This structure not only helps us produce a state of mutual mind with others but also synchronizes the higher and lower levels of the brain’s function. This is the zone where the brain shuts down in the case of trauma due to the lack of a mutual mind to help process the excessively intense emotions of the traumatic event. (See trauma for more on this subject.)