Life Model Families

 

Joy-filled Parenting
Couples
Grandparents
Natural Families
Spiritual Families

 

Natural Families

Let us consider the aspects of family that are both helpful and desirable. It is no surprise that the first thing people check when someone becomes a criminal, a success, a celebrity or even becomes sick is his or her family history. Families have a huge influence in our lives.

Families are for joy

Asking families that come for counseling to answer the question, “What are families for?” produces many answers. One answer we have never heard is that, “Families are for joy—being glad to be together.” As a result, few troubled families even think to reach joy, let alone live in joy. Families who are not motivated by joy motivate each other and transact business based on fear and avoiding pain—usually emotional pain. Who likes to live with people who plan how to hurt you, threaten you and consider it a necessity to make you feel badly? What many people do not realize is that joy is a much deeper and stronger motive than fear and pain. In addition, fear produces badly running brains and families while joy builds strength and character.

Natural and spiritual families

Natural families are formed by generations of people who are genetically related to each other. More significantly, natural families have lived together through the critical periods where brain and personality characteristics are “downloaded” from the older brains into younger brains. Spiritual families are formed when we bond deeply with people who have no close genetic link to us. (Munchies Vol. 4.) Just like natural families, not all spiritual families are equally helpful to our growth and maturity. The most common of these spiritual links is found when people form a bond and then marry. The result is the beginning of another stage of the natural family.

There are many forms of spiritual family that are not based on marriage or procreation. These spiritual families form strong parent-child or sibling-sibling bonds through joy, fear or a combination. Spiritual family has the potential to correct or replace the identities, training and bonds formed by the natural family. These corrections are very helpful if the natural family has deficits. Cults exploit these bonds to destroy identities and families for the purposes of the cult.

Families and maturity

While the early stages of maturity form our individual identities, the later stages develop our group identity. We change our identity as we go from stage to stage. In order to learn a new maturity stage we need older minds with experience in that level of maturity to share life with us until we have made our metamorphosis. Once we have stepped into a new stage of identity, we need to share life in order to reach our potential. This kind of growth can only happen in a multigenerational family.

The need for multigenerational family

When the natural family is disrupted, then a multigenerational spiritual family must step into the gap. Grandparents who have reached elder maturity normally maintain the relationship between the natural and spiritual families. By growing up with both a natural and a spiritual family, children develop a community/group identity as adults. Children learn to care about and bond with people outside their families (who may be very different from themselves in some ways) and form a group identity. In a multigenerational community every member can receive and give life. People without both a multigenerational natural and spiritual family are at risk if anything goes wrong.